As I look around, I see an empire around people.
Almost similarly pictured as above.
By an empire I mean, I see people who knows what they want.
People who actually catches quickly and knows what to do.
People who already have things at hand in the first place.
People who can actually have a future, bright, depending on how tall it is.

I see shadows, big and strong, overwhelming others.
I then see nothing of that sort on my turf.
Mine was all black; figure-less.
It's true, all of them overwhelms mine so it seems.
It seems like, people, there will always be people who are better than me,
but somehow, I see no light to at least let my figure shine.
I'm unable to loom over another presence and intimidate them.
It seems like, I meet these people almost everyday..
Not almost exactly but, practically everyday.

My empire that I've built somehow won't go higher.
Where did I go wrong?
Was I always so clumsy?
How can I not notice my mistakes and take it ever so lightly?

That's it.
I'm taking it apart, piece by piece.
Every single part of me, I'll take it apart.
I've had enough coffee breaks.
It's time I unlock this door to a higher empire.
I'm tearing it apart.

It's sad, that the month of Ramadhan, the fasting month, has passed.
I feel it, the sadness, however not in the past.
I feel it now, thanks to some enlightenment.

Now, I feel the joy of Raya as well.
Seeing how my mom is stressed over the delicacies.
How my parents an brothers pester me to buy clothes, -.-'''
I'd like to spend, but I'd like to save too.
It's not like my parents have such fortunate and a load of income.
It's not like my bros contribute, but hey, alhamdulillah.
Things aren't as bad.
I do pray for all things, life especially, to be better in every way;
for those whom I love and cherish,
friends whom I've had a crazy and wonderful time with,
family for longevity,
for the better in the last day of our lives,
and lastly, for myself.
It's a joyful day today, and so I pray for all, to really, be happy.
Be happy with what we have, take what we've lost as a challenge,
take every new hills in our lives as stairs to God, to a higher knowledge,
to a better life so that such undesired events won't happen again as God will guide us in every way, for he Loves us. Dia lah yang Maha Penyayang.
So I wish for everyone, yet facing hardship, to be happy on such an eventful night, and day. Smiles is what I want to see, new resolutions to be made and to be heard, the feel of living, the motivation.

Tonight, whatever sins, as a sinner, as a liar,as someone who have hurt you emotionally and physically, whatever sins I have made, to you, to my friends, to my loves, please forgive my wrongdoings.

And so to all, BE HAPPY ALWAYS,
and, SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN.


maafkan ku...jika aku tinggalkan kasihmu malam itu..
maafkan ku...jika aku perlu pergi lagi..
maafkan ku...sebab aku masih menyayangi mu.
maafkan ku...bila aku kata awak mengada rakan2 mu yang lain yang kisah tersangat kepada awak.
maafkan ...kerna itu mungkin salah satu sebab aku menyelesapkan diri daripada hidupmu satu hari nanti.
maafkan ...jika aku berkepala batu.
maafkan ku...untuk banyak lagi yang aku telah melakukan untuk membuat awak berasa tidak selesa, tidak berasa tenang, membuat awak sakit hati hari itu.
Aku harap awak bergembira selalu, dan sentiasa berdiri kuat terhadap gunung-ganang hidup ini.
Allah s.a.w akan selalu bersama mu, sentiasa jika aku pergi.
Sayangku terhadap mu, tidak akan lesap, dan tidak akan ku tanam.
Selamat Hari Raya..Maaf Zahir Dan Batin..

Ever wondered,
why have I been saying sorry a lot??
Maybe because I left.
Now, again.
Maybe for good and never coming back.

I'm not going anywhere,
I just wanna be away from your memories.

I've been having thoughts of leaving,
leaving this and that so things would be better,
leaving, again.
C'mon, for the best at my own risk.

I feel like talking to someone.
I need advice, to tell me what to do.
Something, something that I can agree with.
Anybody...?
Because I might just act on impulse again.
Yes, I'm being indecisive now,
because I'm afraid.
Fear is my worse adversary to move.
Fuck, I'm weak, vulnerable;
whatever effed up words to explain a mans demoralization.
Now, I'm feeling as low as dirt,
stepped on, soon easily forgotten.

I'm figuring,
I'll give, then go.

Somehow...

Ever felt stupid??
Stupid of waiting, and hoping but you know you shudn't but you can't?
Knowing that it's out of reach, you'd still wait??
Have you ever??
I have, and it feels like shit I tell you.
The greatest pain of all is to not have, and to lose and to let go.

Haha! That was totally random. No worries. I said those out of boredom and jest.
Didn't mean a single thing. Believe me, I'm lying. LOL!

It's 530 in the morning, and haven't slept at all.
Why?
My brother, 'Caffeine' here is keeping me awake. I've got a bad headache now too.
Can't continue studying. Hope I'll be ok for the paper later.

Seriously IDK what to blog about.
Yes, things do bother me the more O levels are nearing. Somehow I'm worried about the O levels, somehow, I'm just worried about the outcome and the aftermath of my efforts. Will my efforts all go down the drain? Will I not get what I want?

Whatever it is, I don't want to get FFFFF'd. XD

Anyway, wth? I kena shoo-ed by Ain early in the morning?? XD!!!

Ok ok ciao!!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol..........
the days passed by so quickly...MUGG!! X.X!!

i'd like to have this guy as a pet.
hahaha